Penguin Major General: The Rank That Breaks Reality

A king penguin is now a major general in a real military, and honestly, that sounds completely made up to me.

How did a zoo bird become a colonel?

The story starts way back when the family of shipping magnate Salvesen dropped off a king penguin at Edinburgh Zoo in 1913.

Fast forward to 1972, and the Norwegian King’s Guard decided this bird was their new recruit.

They named him Nils Olav to honor Lieutenant Egelien and commander Siggerud.

He started off as a visekorporal, and I struggle to believe that wasn’t just a trap.

Every time the guard returned, Nils Olav got promoted, and my brain keeps slipping on the ranks.

He became a corporal in 1982 and then jumped to sergeant in 1987.

That first bird kicked the bucket right after hitting sergeant, so the regiment just handed the title over to Nils Olav II.

This second guy was a two-year-old near-double who inherited the whole career ladder.

By 1993, he was already a regimental sergeant major, and by 2001 he earned the title honourable regimental sergeant major.

The knighthood and the ultimate flex

Then I have to call it, things get properly ridiculous in 2005 when he got appointed colonel-in-chief.

During that 2005 trip, the zoo received a four-foot-tall bronze likeness of the bird to celebrate the milestone.

You can find another statue sitting at the King’s Guard compound in Huseby, Oslo, because I doubt one was enough to show respect.

The metalwork bears etchings that nod to the royal guard and the drill exhibition.

Wait, wait — you think a medal is the peak? Nils Olav got knighted in 2008, making him the first penguin to receive an honour like that in the Norwegian Army.

King Harald V personally approved the move, and the citation claimed the bird was qualified to receive such dignity.

During the ceremony, 130 guardsmen paraded while several hundred people stood around watching the proceedings.

At some point between 2008 and 2016, Nils Olav III took over the duties.

He got promoted to brigadier in 2016 during a visit where more than 50 members showed up to celebrate.

By 21 August 2023, the current holder reached major general status, securing a Guinness World Record for the highest-ranking penguin ever.

Now here is where I need to sit down, Chillers, because I find the hierarchy absolutely wild.

Nils Olav stayed higher up the chain of command than the human Egelien from 2005 all the way until Egelien passed away on 11 December 2020.

The original namesake reached aged 87 before finally bowing out, but the penguin held the superior rank.

I cannot process that a bird outranked Egelien for so long.

So tell us in the comments: would you happily serve under a penguin colonel, or does that break your loyalty oath?

Source: Wikipedia’s article on “Nils Olav”. The facts are theirs; the words are ours.